|"On Valentine's Day, we wear BLACK"|
To many, Valentine's Day is a magical holiday filled with romantic gestures that express deep feelings of love and devotion. It is a time when the air is potent with desire, promises of commitment, and the hope for long-lasting relationships; a time dedicated to those lucky few who have found a piece of their souls within another individual, their better halves.
BUT, if you're a single girl like me, it can be your own personal hell in which the rest of the world takes great joy in flaunting their relationships in front of you, leaving you feeling lonely and vulnerable. During this time of great emotional distress, I take solace in the copious amounts of wine and chocolate that are available for consumption.
Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of Valentine's Day…. but there is a lot of pressure put on young women around this time of year. However, I'm here to tell you that it is OKAY not to have a boyfriend. Or a date, for that matter.
I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm the type of girl who has thought about marriage since I was fifteen. I would love to find that person that I'm going to spend "forever" with, now. But that is not always how it works out. So, for those in-between years when you find yourself hopelessly single, rather than mourning your loneliness, you should be embracing your independence.
I always tell my friends that I'm going to marry my next boyfriend because dating is so exhausting. But that's not really that much of a stretch, considering I am extremely picky when it comes to men. I would never jump into a relationship with someone unless I could see it going somewhere, hopefully indefinitely. There is a Marina and the Diamonds lyric that goes, "every boyfriend is the one, until otherwise proven," which is the motto that I live by when dating. I would never settle for anyone less than what I believe I deserve, or for anyone that would not make me completely happy.
SO, while I do not have a date for Valentine's Day, I know that it is because it is my choice. Could I get a date with some random guy that I don't care about? Sure! But that would not be fulfilling for me. Therefore, I choose my independence.
In the past four years that I have been single (yes, four years), I have grown so much as a person. I have learned a lot about myself, and what I want in a partner. I also abide by the philosophy that everything happens for a reason. If I am single now, it is because every guy that I have come into contact with up until this moment was not right for me, which means that it can only get better from here. Mr. Right will show up sooner or later, so for now, I can take this time to further refine my tastes and focus on myself. And who knows, maybe the next guy will be the one. I'm willing to wait to find out, whether it be four months from now, or four years.
In the meantime, I recommend going out with your girlfriends and celebrating the beautiful freedom that you possess as young women. Or, if you prefer a quiet night in, curl up on the couch with a glass (or bottle) of wine and watch a lighthearted, fun movie (My personal recommendation would be a classic like Clueless or Mean Girls). Channel your inner Beyonce and blast "Single Ladies" while you devour pizza or ice cream, or just do something for you, because you won't be able to be with anyone else if you can't stand to be by yourself.
Lastly, just remember this: You are beautiful. You, alone. You do not need a man to determine your worth.